In the market for a new fake vagina and don’t know where to turn? You are not alone, my friend. Picking out the perfect synthetic pussy isn’t always easy, especially when there are so many different features and models to choose from.
It’s almost like navigating the dating pool, only there aren’t as many desperate women vying for your attention through trickery and manipulation. The good part about hunting down the right masturbation toy is your ability to make it as simple or complicated as you want.
Back in the day, men had far fewer options in terms of the sex toys they could use. Our ancestors were forced to stick their dicks into some pretty questionable items, from hollowed-out garden vegetables to scraped out animal membranes and just about everything in between.
These days, however, our options are a lot better and the subsequent orgasms are as well. Thanks to innovations by creative, in-tune manufacturers with their fingers on the pulse of modern-day men, the magical market of synthetic vaginas is finally booming. You better get it while it’s hot.
What Is a Fake Pussy?
Synthetic pussies: What are they and why should you run out and buy one? Well, the first step in finding anything in the world is knowing exactly what you’re looking for. It’s difficult for a marketing team to trick or deceive a consumer who is well-informed, even if all the stops are pulled out and clever advertisements or freebies are thrown in your general direction.
Although it sounds like an oxymoron, real fake vaginas are out there and they’re waiting on you to stick your dick in them as soon as you understand the basics.
According to the most official definition, these kinds of toys go by several different names depending on who you ask, with nomenclatures including but not always limited to the following:
- Fake vaginas
- Synthetic pussies
- Counterfeit coochies
- Phony ponies
- Mock muffs
- Artificial asses
Yes, most fake pussies have an ass as well as a vagina, but that’s not always the case and it’s important for you to realize and understand that. In fact, the features on the average synthetic vagina varies so widely that it’s almost impossible to describe every possibility.
Generally speaking, however, these kinds of specialized masturbation toys are designed to simulate the sensations of real penetration through various, pre-determined means, components and materials.
The Most Common Features Of Fake Pussies
Although the finer details of each fake vagina model will vary greatly between makers and suppliers, there are a few features that all synthetic pussies must possess to make them worthy of inclusion in such a prestigious and beloved category.
In other words, any sex toy that doesn’t have a few specific components can’t necessarily be considered a mock muff and it’s probably not the kind of product you’re looking for anyway.
Here are the top five (5) most common things that all well-rounded counterfeit coohies should have:
- A Texturized Canal
Anyone can flog their dolphin with a set of bare hands but grown-ass men like to do it with a high-end sex toy like a fake vagina, handheld or otherwise. The most appealing part about those products is the internal texturization within the masturbation canal – a feature that produces realistic sensations that are far better than anything your palm could ever deliver.
Look for a canal that features a specialized texture, either for enhanced realism, improved stamina and endurance or both. Remember, you don’t have to settle for less than the best anymore.
TIP: Some sex toys are created with extremely potent textures, and some of their manufacturers have even started molding specialty canals to mimic the internal curves of the world’s most popular porn stars.
- Dual Masturbation Chambers
One is the loneliest number, which is why so many synthetic vag makers craft their toys to employ dual masturbation chambers – one that resembles a pussy and another that resembles an ass. This feature not only increases the product’s versatility but it also makes experimentation easier and more affordable.
Look for a fake pussy that offers at least one soft, inviting and highly texturized masturbation chamber if you want to enjoy a wide variety of sexual experiences including vaginal penetration, anal stimulation and maybe even a little titty-fucking.
TIP: Some of the best fake pussies on the market only have one masturbation canal, but their texturized sleeves are typically interchangeable which makes them just as versatile as the dual-chambered models.
- Some Realistic Detailing
When masturbating with a mock muff, it’s not always about the canal texture and sensations. Sometimes, it’s about the visuals as well. And when it comes to creating the most satisfying experience possible, good looking sex toys are a must-have.
Good fake pussies will always feature realistic detailing such as labial folds and skin wrinkles, but the best options usually have a little more to offer in the way of realism: synthetic pubic hair, perky tits with nipples or expertly replicated orifices, for example.
TIP: Certain brands offers male masturbators and high-end fake vaginas or asses that feature the exact same nooks, crannies and wrinkles as a specific adult performer and/or partner.
- Lifelike Material Make-up
It’s one thing for a fake pussy to look like the real thing and feature exciting textures within the masturbation chamber(s), but it’s another for that same sex toy to have skin-like properties that give the user an even better experience. So far, the market has witnessed the invention of several patented materials that resemble the look and feel of a real human membrane.
Good synthetic crotches will always use those materials to complete the pussy package, but be sure to keep your eyes, ears and mind open for new innovations.
TIP: Some materials may require extra maintenance to keep them looking and feeling as intended by the manufacturer. Be sure to read the care instructions for each toy you’re considering just to be safe.
- Skin-Safe Construction
Whether good looking, perfectly molded, hyper-realistic or not, the most important thing is that nobody suffers an allergic reaction to the materials with which a sex toy is made. Stick with high-end, hypoallergenic materials such as silicone, thermoplastic elastomer (TPE), polyvinyl chloride (PVC) or a patented polycarbonate blend just to be safe.
The material make-up should be listed on the product’s label and if not, read a review, contact the manufacturer or visit manufacturer’s website for more information.
TIP: A handful of modern-day sex toy manufacturers still use potentially harmful materials such as latex, phthalates and parabens in their products, so buyer beware.
Special Artificial Vagina’s Features Worth Hunting For
Please note that not all male masturbation toys and/or fake pussies are made the same, thus their features and the combinations thereof will vary greatly between devices. With that said, it’s important to also understand how a specific model can be void of certain features mentioned above but still be classified as a well-made synthetic vag.
On top of that, you’ve got to brace yourself for some of the exciting innovations that have come out of the sex toy industry over the last few years because they’ve changed the game in more ways than one.
Here are the top three (3) most unique features that shoppers might find when looking for a new mock muff on today’s market:
- Compatibility with Other Devices
If you shop savvy, you can buy a handheld fake pussy that’s compatible with high-tech machines which are designed to turn manual stimulation into automatic masturbation through the use of ergonomic, industry-leading features such as Bluetooth, virtual reality and online video streaming services.
- Celebrity Endorsements
With certain models, a well-known adult entertainment star has endorsed the materials, the textures and the overall design of the toy itself, with some devices even featuring a raised insignia from the starlet as an added aesthetic bonus.
- Integrated Pleasure Enhancements
There are a handful of fake pussy products out there that have bonus features like integrated vibrating motors, internal heating elements and twerking mechanisms to increase the user’s pleasure. Those components tend to drive up the price of the toy, but the versatility they offer usually absorbs the cost differential quickly.
Supplies and Skills Required
When you enter the wild and wonderful world of counterfeit coochies you start to realize just how far some manufacturers have gone to help their customers create a superior experience. However, those enhanced sex sessions often require more than meets the eye. And while you don’t have to be a masturbation expert to enjoy a high-end synthetic twat, there are still some basic pieces of equipment and rudimentary skills you must possess to get the most bang for your buck.
Depending on the type of toy you settle on, these are the five (5) most common things you’ll want to have or gather ahead of time (NOTE – Some of these items are included with the device if you buy them from the right manufacturer and/or supplier):
- Batteries – Check the specs on each device to ensure you grab the right kind, especially if your pussy features vibrations, simulated body heat or is compatible with high-tech automatic machines. Also, be aware that most modern-day male masturbation units are fully rechargeable via a standard USB cable.
- Personal Lubrication – Never attempt masturbation with a fake pussy of any kind without some type of lubrication on the toy and/or your penis. Even realistic materials can cause chaffing if you’re not careful. Also, be sure to choose a lube type that’s compatible with the toy’s materials
- Toy Cleaning Supplies – The best way to keep your synthetic vaginas in top working order is to thoroughly cleanse them after every use. Some devices are harder to maintain than others, but you still need to invest in cleaning supplies lest you sustain an injury or cause unnecessary skin rashes due to bacteria build-up.
- Internet or Mobile Data Connections – If you plan to use your new plaything alongside your favorite porn or a video from an online XXX content library, you’ll need a reliable and secure internet connection and/or a mobile data plan to access it.
- Virtual Reality Gear – Fake pussies that either feature interactive components or can link up with high-tech devices often require VR goggles that are sold separately. And while this piece of equipment isn’t always needed, it’s a great thing to have lying around just in case you want to spice things up a bit.
The Top 5 Best Fake Pussies In 2021:
The market seems to be always introducing new products to the everyday consumer, with less of a stigma and taboo placed on male sex toys than ever before in the history of mankind. Thankfully, a few devices have separated themselves from the flock by being exceptional in numerous ways. Here are today’s top five (5) best fake pussies (in no particular order):
#1 The Fleshlight STU
IDEAL PURPOSE: PERFORMANCE ENHANCEMENT
The Fleshlight brand is known for its massive inventory of high-grade male masturbation devices, and their Stamina Training Unit (STU) is no exception. It features the same recognizable yet discreet size and shape of a standard masturbator but it’s got one major difference: the canal has a specialized texture that makes orgasm control virtually impossible.
The toy uses the brand’s patented SuperSkin material for added realism and it comes with a free water-based lube sample to get you started.
PROS
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- Extreme canal texturization for improved endurance
- Lightweight design for easier pumping
- Compatible with the high-tech automatic Launch device
- Interchangeable sleeves
- Ergonomic dimensions
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from skin-safe materials
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CONS
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- May not accommodate all penis sizes
- Could be too intense for casual users
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#2 The Fleshlight Destroya
IDEAL PURPOSE: FANTASY FULFILLMENT
Much like the standard Fleshlight fake pussies in the brand’s enormous lineup, the Destroya is an exclusive model belonging to an even more specialized collection called the Fleshlight Girls. Its superb canal is tight and texturized in a way that’s identical to the internal dimensions of the famous porn star, Stoya.
It features the same great ergonomics as the standard models and uses the exact SuperSkin material that’s become an icon in the sex toy industry. Best of all, consumers can choose between a pussy, mouth or ass orifice and the entire device is compatible with the brand’s high-tech Launch machine as well.
PROS
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- Collector’s item
- Lightweight design for easier pumping
- Enhances Stoya’s 3D porn content
- Interchangeable sleeves
- Ergonomic dimensions
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from skin-safe materials
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CONS
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- May not accommodate all penis sizes
- Requires extra equipment for a well-rounded experience
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#3 The THRUST Pro Elite Alana Ribbed Vagina and Ass Masturbator
Alana is a sexy little number with a full-scale vaginal opening and a tight butthole to match. With a rounded rear-end and two distinct ribbed canals to explore, this fake pussy offers twice the excitement and three-times the fun.
She offers a generous 7.5-inch insertable length in the twat and 5.5 inches of depth in the anus, plus she can be dressed up according to your kinkiest size 6-8 fantasies. Made from hypoallergenic TPE and weighty enough to suffice a session of hot and heavy sex, the THRUST Pro Elite is ideal for men of all experience levels and can be positioned for optimal pleasure as well.
PROS
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- Dual masturbation canals
- Sized to scale for increased realism
- Ideal for hands-free use
- Realistic skin-like covering
- Can be put into various pieces of lingerie
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from skin-safe materials
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CONS
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- May be too large to hide discreetly
- Genital detailing not as accurate as some fake vagina/asses
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#4 The CyberSkin Realistic Vibrating Perfect Ass
IDEAL PURPOSE: SENSATION EXPLORATION
The CyberSkin Realistic Vibrating Perfect Ass is exactly what it sounds like – an expertly crafted synthetic pussy and butt with the power to vibrate your dick through a series of hefty pounding positions due to its ultra-lifelike materials and heavy-weight design. It features dual canals, dual vibrating bullets for each one, and dual butt cheeks for hours of squeezing.
And with a generous 7-inch insertable length in the vagina as well as an 8-inch clearance in the anus, the multi-speed vibrations pulsating through the humanistic CyberSkin covering is enough to drive a man wild.
PROS
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- Dual masturbation canals
- Vibrating bullets removeable
- Flat, tilting base for optimal positioning
- Accommodates nearly all penis sizes
- Feels good with or without the vibrations
- Fully submersible in water
- Made from skin-safe materials
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CONS
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- May not be suitable for beginners
- Requires 2 x AA batteries for the vibrations (not included)
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#5 The Pipedream Extreme Fuck Me Silly 2: Pussy, &Tits
IDEAL PURPOSE: THE ULTIMATE EXPERIENCE
The Pipedream brand is known for its huge selection of realistic love dolls and fake vagina/ass combo toys. Their Fuck Me Silly 2 is just another of their impressive pleasure products, with two distinct masturbation canals and a set of perky tits that are worthy of worship. - It features supreme body detailing, offers 8 full inches of insertable length in both holes and even comes with a free sample of toy cleaner and water-based masturbation lube to get you going.
PROS
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- Dual masturbation canals
- Extremely detailed genitalia and body features
- Set of large, jiggly breasts for enhanced play
- Can accommodate nearly all penis sizes
- Waterproof for cleaning and warming
- Made from skin-safe materials
CONS
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- May be too large to store discreetly
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The Big Picture
It’s not always easy finding the best synthetic pussies, fake vaginas and mock muffs on the market, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Understand exactly what you’re looking for, make a list of the features you desire the most, and compare components like a pro without paying too much attention to price and/or brand affiliation (as long as that’s not a deal breaker on certain features and compatibilities).
- Stay away from certain materials, expect the unexpected and always practice good hygiene to ensure you new toy’s maximum longevity. And last but never least, ignore peer pressure because it’s your dick and your orgasm, not anyone else’s.
Fake Pussy FAQ
Q: How am I supposed to hide something this big from the guests and roommates in my house?
A: As a general rule, never buy a full-sized synthetic pussy unless you’re absolutely sure you have enough space to hide it properly. Most of these things don’t come with a storage container and some of them are pretty big. To make things easier, pick a spot that’s typically used for storing spare and infrequently used items: under the bed, in the closet, etc.
Q: How do I know which material will feel the best?
A: Unfortunately, sex toy material selection is completely subjective. You really won’t know which material feels the best until you try a few of them out on yourself or a partner.
- However, there are always comparative descriptions to rely on and most high-end fake pussy manufacturers have developed their own unique material blends that became famous for looking, feeling and performing like real human skin.
Q: How do I take care of my new plaything properly?
A: Care and maintenance instructions will vary depending on the mock muff you buy, but there are some general rules you should always follow to ensure maximum safety and satisfaction. For one, wash your toy after each and every use even if you don’t ejaculate into it. For two, only use gentle, non-abrasive soaps and hypoallergenic cleansers that have been pre-approved by the toy’s maker.
- Lastly, try not to leave any standing water inside the masturbation chamber as this could cause a build-up of dirt, debris and bacteria. In many cases, you won’t get a storage container with your purchase of a fake vagina. Because of that, maintenance also involves proper packing and stowing of the device at all times. Never place your toy in an area that’s exposed to moisture and keep it away from extreme hot or cold temperatures. Also, try not to use lubes that aren’t compatible with the toy’s main material(s).
Q: What’s the difference between a fake pussy and a pocket pussy?
A: In general, a pocket pussy is simply a flimsy piece of texturized material that can be used to enhance a hand job. Some of the higher-end ones feature lifelike detailing and vaginally inspired orifices, but they’re not the same as your standard fake pussy.
- FPs are far more sophisticated, with better materials, more intense canal textures, enhanced detailing, and sturdier construction on average. They tend to last quite a bit longer as well, especially if they’re cared for properly.
Q: Are these toys appropriate for all penis sizes or do I need to take some measurements first?
A: To stay on the safe side, know what your penis’s dimensions are when it’s fully erect to make sure the toy you choose can accommodate your main member comfortably. Because these products can vary widely in size and shape, it’s important to know two things before spending any money: Your body type and the insertable length of the masturbation chamber. As a good rule of thumb, allow an extra half inch for error, growth and excitement.
Q: Can I use one of these things if I have erectile dysfunction or Peyronie’s Disease?
A: Yes, you can masturbate with a mock muff if you have erectile dysfunction (ED) or Peyronie’s Disease (PD), or curvature of the penis. In fact, these toys are especially useful to men with those conditions because they can reach a satisfying climax without having to worry about embarrassment, performance anxiety or hurting their partner.
- However, insertion into fake vaginas may prove difficult for men who can’t get a full erection simply because of the general tightness of the orifice and canal. Ask your doctor for recommendations or choose an open-ended/hinged masturbation tool instead.
Q: Can I use a condom with a fake vagina to make cleanup and maintenance easier?
- A: Cleanup is usually very easy when it comes to counterfeit coochies, but some men want to keep things as pristine as possible despite using their toy quite frequently. One way to pull that off is to use a condom, but condoms aren’t comfortable or compatible with all models. Check the materials of both to make sure they won’t react negatively with one another.
- Also, determine how tight the canal is and be sure you’ll have enough room for an up and down jerking motion. And now matter what you do, never leave an expended condom lodged into the canal after use, even if you didn’t cum into it. Such oversights can cause serious problems with the overall integrity of the device.
Q: Will masturbating with a synthetic snatch make me better at sex?
A: Improvements to your sex life and/or stamina are based mainly on how you use the device. While some models are made specifically to increase the user’s sexual endurance, most synthetic vaginas can be used for the same purposes if they’re enjoyed often enough.
- Research shows that men who frequently masturbate and/or reach orgasm with a sex toy experience higher libido levels and more satisfying climaxes. However, masturbating too much can have the opposite effect. Talk to your doctor if you’re dealing with ED or other sexual performance problems because your lack of skill may not be due to your lack of equipment entirely.