If you don’t know who Teagan Presley is, you’re probably still a virgin and you need a manual masturbator more than anyone else. If you are familiar with her work, you’re probably reading this review to get the low down on her newest vexing venture: molding her mouth, ass, and pussy for the sake of her freaky fan base. Perhaps Ms. Presley is a philanthropist, or maybe she just knows a good idea when she sees it.
Fleshlight has been one of the top brands in the sex toy industry for quite some time, so their linking up with the hottest porn stars was inevitable. It’s not that we were surprised by the union, this review is because we were so excited to try it out that we had to talk about it with someone. Unfortunately, this isn’t the type of shit you can openly discuss over dinner with your parents. How else are you going to get the info you need? Maybe we’re the philanthropists here.
What Makes the Love Humps Different?
Teagan’s love humps have been capturing the limelight since her debut. Now that they’re molded for the world to see, it’s easier than ever to determine their appeal. According to the lucky bastard who got to mold her private parts, Ms. Presley’s insides are a one-of-a-kind mixture of massaging fingertips and tiny, tantalizing nodes that meld together to form one of the wildest rides we’ve ever had. Is it possible her personality was added into the mold as well?
What Does It Feel Like?
Describing what it felt like to fuck Teagan Presley in the ass is something we never thought we’d have to do. It’s a hard knock life for us. Unfortunately, we also had to fuck her other two mold models: the mouth and the pussy. After all that “torture,” the only thing we can say is that every single nook and cranny of your shaft was continually stimulated; and by continually stimulated we mean, “Holy orgasm, Batman!”
The Pros and Cons
We love Teagan Presley’s Love Humps, don’t get us wrong. It’s just that it’s our job to figure out where the manufacturer went wrong. Otherwise, how will the wonderful world of fuck toys ever get any better? Compared to the other Fleshlight Girls male masturbators in the lineup (only), here is what we thought about Ms. Presley’s lovely Love Humps:
PROS
- Hump Day – The intense sensations provided by Teagan’s tight orifices knocked us out with one shot for the rest of the day.
- Skinvincible – The patented SuperSkin material made famous by the Fleshlight brand is again used for this toy, making it extra durable, not to mention feel very much like touching the silky skin of Teagan herself.
- Handy Dandy – We always appreciate how the Fleshlight brand makes their toys ergonomically correct, meaning they’re easy to hold even when you’re mid-climax. This one is no exception.
CONS
- Whether You Like It or Not – The unceasing stimulation can desensitize the nerve endings in the penis after prolonged use, or at least that’s what the doctors say.
- Stick ‘Em Up – Although the SuperSkin material is remarkably real feeling, it reminds us of that moment during sex when you’ve came on someone’s belly, wiped it off, and started cuddling again.
- Can’t Touch This – The Fleshlight brand is known for its big but discrete design, however, we still wish they’d make a lighter model because this shit is kind of heavy after a few minutes of pumping.
Our Final Verdict
Whether it’s Teagan Presley in a movie or molded into a unique sex toy, we love her and her lovely lady lumps. She is definitely sexy, so we can tell why she’s booked so often in adult films. The fact that Fleshlight has created a customized sex experience using her mouth, ass, and pussy is beyond amazing -as if we could like that brand any more than we already do. The Love Humps model inspired by Ms. Presley is one of our favorites in the lineup, and maybe that’s because its numerous nodes are so extreme. We’re just saying, whoever is fucking her in real life has his work cut out for him.